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Drug activity on 25th revealed to be long-game covert opp

A long-time grievance of those living in the east end is the high level of drug activity across the street from the First Precinct.

“You would think that would be the safest place,” noted Francis Querella, who lives near the Precinct.  “It almost seems like the premise of a cheesy action movie; the highest levels of crime are right at the doorstep of the police station, in broad daylight.”  Querella has been petitioning for something to be done for years, but has only received silence.

On Monday, it was revealed that the silence was by design.  A representative of the Precinct held a press conference on the sidewalk in front of Ocean Grocery to reveal that the drug activity along the corridor did not actually exist.

“The past several years for the Precinct have been hard, as we have had to take on the understandable accusations of allowing crime at our doorstep.  That is why we are happy to finally explain that it was all staged.”

Operation Truman was designed and implemented in 2006 as a way to track the movements and location of an influential Richmond Drug Lord known only as “Sniffles.”  After several failed attempts to locate and apprehend him, officers concocted a plan.

“The first phase was creating a rumor that 25th street was the next big location for drug trafficking.  What should have been a deterrent — the location of the Precinct — actually made the rumor believable, because who would be stupid enough to fake that?”

The second phase involved hiring a team of actors who were willing to commit several years to carrying out a strict choreography of buying and selling.  Sydney Histrio has been involved for the last 15 years.

“When I heard about it through my agent, I thought it was a joke.  When I learned it was real, I was scared that such a commitment could cost me potential roles on tv or movies.  But honestly, ‘Dealer #8’ has been the role of a lifetime.”

At the press conference, Histrio shared a few of the intricacies of the production.  “We all have high-tech ear-pieces, and when needed can know when we all have to return to start positions.  Because we never know who is watching, we always have to be in character whenever there is a car or pedestrian, but between ‘takes’ we can relax and talk.”  The bus stop at 25th and R served as a core hub for actors on break.

The representative shared that it took 5 years before Sniffles took the bait; due to 500 cameras placed strategically along the corridor, they have finally gathered enough evidence to convict.  “We are very proud of the work that has been done here, and look forward to the new life ahead for the corridor.”

When asked what was up next, Histrio smiled.  “I can’t really talk about it, but let’s just say I’ve got a ‘dog walking’ gig to address this uncollected poop issue.”

13 comments

Linda Ellen Childs 04/01/2021 at 5:54 PM

Perhaps the next gig an undercover job sussing out the lowlifes who use Bill Robinson Park as their open-air toilet and trash can?

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Damon Cook 04/02/2021 at 3:07 AM

I’m locked out of the bathroom now and it’s a big deal lol I got the money for my phone and it was just the money I got it was a big deal lol I got it was a big deal lol I got it was a big deal lol I got it was a big deal lol I got it was a big deal lol I got it was a big deal lol I got it was a big deal ????????????

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Karen M 04/02/2021 at 3:17 PM

Supposed to be an April Fool’s joke but the problems we live with and the human price they extract are less humorous. This is in absolute bad taste.

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Kevin O. 04/04/2021 at 11:59 PM

Yeah, this is stupid and should be taken down. Not funny. People are dying and there is an actual problem on that block.

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Liz 04/05/2021 at 7:17 PM

Have to say I agree with Karen and Kevin

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maeve kincaid 04/15/2021 at 6:36 PM

As spoken by a “Karen”. HA!

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Guest 04/27/2021 at 2:46 PM

Are you a “Karen”?

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S. Carlson 06/11/2021 at 9:39 PM

Maybe catching the porch pirates is the next gig?

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Marco S. Thomas 06/15/2021 at 12:00 PM

So, people are actually dying and fight this “opioid crisis” (if it was another neighborhood) and you all are running experiments? It’s nice to know nothing has really changed in the way you view and police black communities. Make sure this is part of the survey questions you plan to ask the 25th street corridor. And you wonder why we don’t think of the police when we think about safety. You come to our neighborhoods with the intention to lock people up, not serve our needs.

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Amber Shields 07/03/2021 at 3:07 PM

I have absolutely no idea how I stumbled across this article, but I did, and I have zero familiarity with your town/city, how your “officials” operate, how media presents info to the community, etc. From an outsider perspective, this article is easily one of the most ridiculously presented explanations for what sounds like high level drug trafficking, and I’d bet MANY other illegal going’s on. The most shocking is the blatant bullshit being fed to the community about this so called operation and the fact they appear to be mocking your inattentiveness to their corruptive cooperation. None of their explanation makes sense in the least, especially the extent they went to bring down “Sniffles”! Give me a break, the amount of man power, money, etc, vs the risk being taken,,,, wtf? Wake up folks! This sounds bad.

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Liz 07/05/2021 at 3:56 PM

Amber, this blog has a history of running April Fools Day stories of which this was one. This is not an accurate story at all and is meant to be sarcasm and satire. If you look above, several members of our community suggested it be taken down however it is still here. Maybe the admins of this blog will see your comment and rethink their decision to leave this story up. You are not the first person to think it is a true story.

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Odelia 07/26/2021 at 9:15 AM

I grew up in that neighborhood and I recently just moved for y’all to make jokes about us not helping

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Liz 07/27/2021 at 3:59 PM

Odelia, I fully agree.

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