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Designer Oxygen Bar to Open in Chimborazo

Oxygen has never been more expensive and so delicious

“Designer oxygen is the next big thing breathing life into luxury living”, says Camila Montevideo, owner of O2 opening this Fall in a special booth close to Chimborazo Park.

Montevideo, a lifestyle consultant living in Shockoe Bottom, prefers to breathe “designer oxygen” branding her special air Church Hill 9O2, the kind that costs up to $200 a bottle. She uses the concoction in everything, from making ice to cooking her designer gluten-free vegan cookies.

“We’ve already fixed the schools and roads” says Montevideo as she casually sips from her empty bottle, “I want to offer something new to the neighborhood.”

8 comments

Deedra Clark 04/01/2019 at 8:22 AM

People are losing their homes for shit like this! ?

Reply
Liz 04/01/2019 at 8:41 AM

Best one yet!!!

Reply
EastEnder 04/01/2019 at 8:43 AM

Happy April Fool’s Day CHPN!

This is a joke, yes?

Reply
Jacob C. 04/01/2019 at 9:14 AM

I would question any stories you see coming out on April 1st. Especially here at CHPN.

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Kenny Banger 04/01/2019 at 10:45 AM

absolutely plausible. nothing farfetched about that. roaring pines? vinegar drinks on tap on venable? oxygen bar ain’t far off

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35th & M 04/01/2019 at 8:47 PM

Yes!!! So happy to see y’all have kept up the April Fool’s tradition. Great work!

Reply
Wendy Gayle March 04/01/2019 at 10:55 PM

So late 90s

Reply

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