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Designer Oxygen Bar to Open in Chimborazo

Oxygen has never been more expensive and so delicious

“Designer oxygen is the next big thing breathing life into luxury living”, says Camila Montevideo, owner of O2 opening this Fall in a special booth close to Chimborazo Park.

Montevideo, a lifestyle consultant living in Shockoe Bottom, prefers to breathe “designer oxygen” branding her special air Church Hill 9O2, the kind that costs up to $200 a bottle. She uses the concoction in everything, from making ice to cooking her designer gluten-free vegan cookies.

“We’ve already fixed the schools and roads” says Montevideo as she casually sips from her empty bottle, “I want to offer something new to the neighborhood.”

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8 Comments
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Deedra Clark
Deedra Clark
1 year ago

People are losing their homes for shit like this! ?

Liz
Liz
1 year ago

Best one yet!!!

EastEnder
EastEnder
1 year ago

Happy April Fool’s Day CHPN!

This is a joke, yes?

Jacob C.
Editor
Jacob C.
1 year ago

I would question any stories you see coming out on April 1st. Especially here at CHPN.

Thomas J. Alleman
Thomas J. Alleman
1 year ago
Kenny Banger
Kenny Banger
1 year ago

absolutely plausible. nothing farfetched about that. roaring pines? vinegar drinks on tap on venable? oxygen bar ain’t far off

35th & M
35th & M
1 year ago

Yes!!! So happy to see y’all have kept up the April Fool’s tradition. Great work!

Wendy Gayle March
Wendy Gayle March
1 year ago

So late 90s

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