Hilarious post. No one has said it better! Thanks! Interested in running for the 7th District Council seat in Nov.?

I couldn’t agree with you more. The ren-faire angle (aiming at, and missing completely, ‘class’) is what skeeves me out the most. The faire wenches might as well be ho’s. Give me Hooters Girls any night of the week (well, actually, you can have them) but let’s call a spade a spade here. Either make it a strip club or make it a classy place. You can’t have both.

No one is going to join this club. There are enough nouveau riche rednecks in the area but they will be afraid to drive in from Short Pump/Midlothian/King’s Charter.

Normal upwardly mobile Richmonders will not have any trouble with the location but A) will not be caught dead in this bizarre melding of a trip to Medieval Times and a taping of Solid Gold and B) probably already belong to another perfectly sufficient club. And those seeking a club will not over look the fact that the yearly nut on a membership to Mr. Huotari’s joint will be $2500. That is in the neighborhood of 38.8% MORE than it costs to be a member of the Commonwealth Club for a year.

My advice to Mr. Huotari would be to go back to square one and move this out to Short Pump or Midlothian. Ditch the renaissance faire part and rebrand as a dude’s den. Have a bar, a library, an old-school barber shop, maybe an indoor pistol range. You can keep the hot servers but you will never shake the whispers that you’re offering a rub’n'tug service.

I just have three questions:
1 Assuming you are a member, what is your estimated cost per person for dinner after any free visits? How will you pay for dinner, valet, babysitting and spa? Will you be billed or pay as you leave?
2. What is the expected attire?
3. When is your expected open date?

Lighten up dude.

You might have been confused by my post. DAR ladies are the Daughters of the American Revolution. Years ago, they protested the removal of cobblestones on Monument Avenue by laying down in front of bulldozers.

I am not sure WHAT you thought I was suggesting.

Smoove B lives in Richmond and builds clubs for gentlemen! The description of the night out in post 67 is fantastic. “When we got to my car. Johnny was in the backseat playing with his new toy.” Oh, what fun we could have with that line.

I just saw an ad for the King’s Retreat and looked at the website, then saw this post. I have read about 1/3 of it, but have to go back to being productive now.

Thanks to everybody (pro and con) for creating one of the funniest dialogues I have ever seen in a blog – and fairly civil to boot.

I am eager to see how this all unfolds. It would be great if a couple of DAR ladies would end up prone on the cobblestones in front of the entrance to the King’s Retreat.

What fun!!

There will also be a turret where a John Cleese type character will yell insults down to the people arriving for their “kingly” evening.

rubberneck is saying what many of us have said already and just as eloquently. rubberneck is a friend of mine and fellow Church Hiller and this thread has given us plenty of laughs!

It seems to me that you are the pathetic one that needs to get a life, as you have said to me. You don’t live here, you are not an investor, you have no stake in our community. You sir, are just a voyeur – a King without a cause.

Since you are “not from around here” I’ll tell you that it is very common for folks to “organize” here in Church Hill, and for the better. That’s the very reason why “The King” wants to invest in our community. Lots of years of hard work from community grass roots efforts that have made this hood so desirable.

It seems to me that you are the one who has been repeatedly name calling and using crude expressions and sticking your nose in something, just to stick it in.

I have lived here a long time and have invested in this community both financially and emotionally. I CAN organize. Although I doubt I will need to lift a finger on this fight. It’s dead in the water. To quote you, “What a joke!”

I gotta admit that I get a huge chuckle out of pushing your buttons, and man, do I seem to push them!

This is truly one of the most fun threads I have seen in a long, long time. Sorry you don’t agree, but then, you aren’t one of us, and don’t get it. We are a feisty bunch that loves to disagree with each other and reach consensus too.

Unfortunately this thread has worn itself out, unless someone else can breath some new life into it.

Sure was fun while it lasted!

Thank you for your intelligent response! It’s a nice change from some of the other posters on this thread (hillkid). Unfortunately I can’t answer these questions, because contrary to “King Idiot’s” beliefs, I am not directly associated with this venture. I am just someone who occasionally visits Richmond when I want to make a night of it. I am not an investor (I wish I had that kind of money), nor am I some kind of King’s Retreat executive (PaLease). When I first heard of this concept I thought it was a great idea and could be a great addition to the restaurant/club scene in Richmond. I have been following The King’s Retreat’s progress ever since and was merely flabbergasted at some of the responses on this thread. I mean come on! Some of those comments are rude, crude, and unacceptable. I was merely defending an idea that I thought would improve Richmond. In my later comments I simply used Mr. Huotari’s posts to further fight my own personal “cause”.

Post 213:
ooooo….scary! Aren’t you the smart one?!? Since this is “Permanent Record” I guess I should watch my step! You only wish you were half as important as you think you are, Mr. “I will organize to keep you weird s**t out of our neighborhood.” Are you kidding me? What do you think your going to do? Start a revolt? What a joke!

I guess you guys really don’t get it.

Don’t you know that it is the oldest trick in the book to goad someone on to see how they will handle the pressure of scrutiny.

Sorry Kings, you get a failing grade. If you can’t handle my silly online antics with grace and class, surely you’ll make a huge mess of your real world kingdom.

Just remember, this is a permanent record for all to see, and folks are reading and watching…

I am making comments on my own accord thank you very much. Yeah, I may have an interest in The King’s Retreat, but does that make my observations of your nonsensical ramblings any less astute? I think not! As far as fighting someones battles for them, when I found out where the possible location was, I googled “The King’s Retreat Church Hill” to see what was out there and found this thread. Upon reading it I was appalled at some of the idiocy that was being spouted about a perfectly viable business idea by people that very likely know little or nothing about the subject. I made a post, and my father who is also interested made a post, and I was “called out” as being the same person. This forum is a joke and you sir obviously have little or no life. People like you need people like Mr. Huotari to banter with in order to feel like they are someone important, and with that I wish you the best of luck in your meaningless existence!

It’s obvious to me that you are either Huotari posing as another name, or one of his “investors/advisory board.”

I will address all of your observations.

1. “you answered your own question in post #182″ I guess you’re telling me that Huotari has no restaurant or private club experience since my comment was about finding NOTHING about him when I googled his name.

2. I never called Huotari a “Dick.” I said he was acting like one – big difference. And, if you recall, I apologized for suggesting that.

3. David Malone. I guess he’s somewhat of an “expert” as Bill Hartsock has suggested, and I trust Bill to tell the truth. Funny though, I can’t find anything about him either. If he’s so great, why can’t I google him and find info about his consulting biz. It should be easily accessible and readily available. Not very good at marketing himself.

However, I find his analysis vague and simplistic as if he were making it up as he went along. I don’t find ““In audited surveys performed by one of the nation’s leading accounting firms…results verified that growth has outpaced most other market segments.” as providing factual information about your venture. I know later on Huotari suggests that we all pay for a industry profile from Dunn and Bradstreet. Sorry, dude, don’t think so. As for me being an idiot with a “demeanor,” well, I guess time will tell.

4. I don’t care if you succeed or fail at this thing. As for there being a beautifully restored building left, well, first of all, that building still has a “for sale” sign on it. Nothing + nothing = nothing. Too often, overly ambitious and inexperienced developers come into our community talking a good talk and then leave a half renovated eyesore of a mess, unpaid bills and the community holding the bag. And we’re supposed to be greatful for “THE KING” gracing our lives despite it all.

As for Mr. Huotari being upstanding member of the community, he is NOT a member of our community. At least, not yet. And, I have seen no indication whether he is or isn’t anywhere else.

So, Mr. Ring-A-Ding-Ding/Paul/Huotari Groupie/Handmaiden, if you are any indication of the type of clientele or the type of investor in this venture, it is surely doomed to fail, and Mr. Huotari should be more careful who he picks to fight his fights for him.

but this version of The King’s Retreat sounds more my style.

As far as Mr. Huotari’s experience with running private clubs goes, you answered your own question in post #182. Ya know, the one right after you called him a DICK for not answering questions that have obvious and easily found answers.

And on the research and success rates:
David Malone wrote a report which was posted #126
He is a very established, well known club manager in the area, if you can’t take to heart his observations, then what do you want?
Mr. Huotari is not going to freely offer up research and business information he has been working for years to compile to some idiot on a forum. Especially not one with a demeanor such as yours. He told you if you wanted more info how to get it and even invited you to join the Advisory Panel where you could further express your opinions.

I noticed you didn’t even comment on Ramzi’s observation that succeed or fail, there will very likely be a beautifully restored historical building left behind. Seems to me like you are far more interested in bashing an upstanding community member than caring about the community itself.

Thanks marko, for that insight. Won’t be the first time someone has tried to buy credibility and a reputation.

It is not “creepy” or out of line for the community to ask him if he has previous restaurant experience or experience running a private club. Likewise to inquire about specific research or other similar clubs success rates.

I understand the intent of posting copies of thank-you letters, but it is CREEPY how this guy communicates. It would have sufficed to have listed the organizations that he has contributed to. To type out SEVEN copies of thank-you letters to prove that he is civic minded is just plain weird, and in my opinion kind of revealing to this guy’s need to be “THE KING.”

This business will need the communities support in order for it to move forward. It won’t happen.

Kelly Justice:

Yes, I do have issues with a commercial business of this type going into a residential zoned area. He will have to get a SUP and and go through the BZA.

You think I’m unglued, wait till the community gets it’s hands on it.

Not sure that Huotari is the ONLY ONE on here who has issues…You’re coming unglued and really creeping me out. Take a pill.
I happen to know one of the reported authors of the donation letters and decided to call him to verify the authenticity of the letter. In this case, it was absolutely TRUE.

post #184 is all you baby!

Want to post some more fake letters that illuminate us on your other many business ventures and your previous restaurant experience?

How about a fake research study?

Read the posts dudes. Many, many of us have asked you very specific questions. Do the work, look through the posts. Answer the friggin questions.

You know, I’ve been nice for the most part to both of you (I’m sure your part of the King’s court, Paul baby – ring a ding ding!), beside a little ribbing here and there, but now you want to get nasty.

I think your comments and your constant weird fake letters from charities are REALLY CREEPY!!!

What are you trying to prove?

Seems to me that Mr. Huotari has A LOT of time on his hands to be posting so frequently. Shouldn’t you be minding the shop with you many businesses?

Yikes! If you apply for an SUP or any other permits that requires input from the public, I can assure you that I will organize to keep you weird s**t out of our neighborhood.

KEEP IT UP KING BOYS! SEE WHERE IT GETS YOU.

Seriously? Charitable donations to sick children “creeps you out?”, maybe if you spent half the time helping charitable organizations as you spend typing nonsense on this forum you would be a productive member of society.

So what have you donated? A few dollars here, a few dollars there…..

You are creeping us out!!!!

Stop while you are ahead.

Yeah, so? Good for you. We all donate to charities. What does that have to do with the questions that we have asked that have not been answered.

You can’t answer them because THERE ARE NO ANSWERS. THERE IS NO EXPERIENCE, NO RESEARCH, NO NOTHING.

Accept the accounting firm of Duey Cheatham and Howe.